I treat everything in a serious way, that's what stated clear in my memory as I can remember. But the result never make me satisfied, that's the things make me fall apart. Do I really love designing? This is the question that always comes out on my mind, keep reminding me to ensure that I'm doing the right thing and this way of thinking has haunted me for almost 2 years. Until I won the first prize of Teeside Design Competition, I'm sure that that's why I am here today (for that moment). But after a couple of months, I am once again fall into the low ebb period, like what the people does during economic going unstable. Am I going to finish my whole life like this, been wondering around what are the best for me?! Am I too selfish? I'm always thinking what and who I live for? My parents, my family? I'm tired, I'm torchuring myself doing the things that not shouldn't be! I found that it's hard for me to figure out a proper idea, it's just like there is something stuck in my brain, I'm totally helpless! I have cried for hundred of times but that never make me feel better but even worst. I think I need to meet with a psychologist expert.
NO ONE gonna understand my feeling, I have no one to release my tension, even the one I love. And I really feel sorry to him as I always brought him troubles, sorry Darling~
I have tried my best, it's true.
